First Day at Work ~ Breastfeeding Nightmare

Today is mummy's first day of work after a long maternity leave of 12 weeks...fast eh?

Sighz....mummy feels very sad cos she miss kyan so much! Now that she has to go back to work there is much to get used to.

First is the pumping session. Though the new boss has no objections to pumping during official hours, it is hard and pretty inconvenient to pump as there is no nursing room available. End up pumping in the toilet where there is no place to put my pump accessories.

Secondly is the rush for pumping. In the morning at 6am, wake up to pump (when initially i can wake up at 6.45am). Only can limit myself to a pump time of at most 30mins in the morning and during office hours. During the afternoon, pump another time using the manual pump. Siong, rush by trying to empty my breasts as much as possible only to realise they are not fully empty and get engorged five hours later. I try to avoid pumping twice at work so will bear till I reach home at 6.30pm to pump for the next session. The last pump session will probably be around 11pm, which means I can't sleep early cos i'll have to wait for the session. If pump too early will face very bad engorgement in the middle of the night and still have to wake up to pump.

In conclusion, breastfeeding is pretty more a chore but i'm still persisting. This was what i posted on the motherhood board after i felt pretty down in the office. Yes i was already suffering from engorgement at that time but was bearing not to pump till i reach home.

"i think we mummies are just feeling v drained out cos of bf-ing...now i am also thinking if i really cannot cope i may also stop. But do consider carefully and don't look back on yr decision if u have to do so...i do fear the day i will regret hence i don't have the courage to drop my milk flow yet.

I'm also suffering from blocked ducts and the milk flow from my right breast is realli slow now...milk seems to be jammed up in there.

Sometimes i'm wondering why am i making myself so miserable...feeling so drained, tired and yet still doing all these thing...or i should just take the easy way out....feed FM...in fact now i'm already feel like doin that liao...hb oso scared i cannot cope with pumping at work and not getting enough sleep at night since gotta wake up early to pump. V tiring.

I am now at work. There is no nursing room in my office and i was pumping in the toilet. There is no place to put my pump accessories. Realli feel like crying man.

What to do? silly mummy still thinking to continue but yet feel like giving up. Ironic really."