重男轻女...is gender really so important to the older generation?

If there is one thing that piss me off, its this.

I am just looking for an avenue to vent on.

I am the one bearing the child, so whatever gender i want, so be it. Even i can't decide so what makes U think and insist it is a BOY when my mil has told u otherwise? My mil based it on the Lunar Calender. What facts have u got to base it on? Your own thinking i suppose?

SHEESH. Just don't keep insisting it is a boy OK?

And don't (in front of me for goodness sake) keeps repeating things to kyan such as..."this is for 弟弟 in the future....弟弟 this 弟弟 that" when all of us have corrected him and questioned him umpteen times. He just won't listen. The thing repeats itself....again...again...and again. My ears have succumbed to this comment time and again.

So now, i'm 101% hoping my bb is a girl so he will shut his mouth off.

To him, one kyan (and one boy) isn't enough. Now he wants another boy whereas the rest of us want a girl. Wow greedy isn't it.

To me, boy or girl doesn't matter as long as he's healthy. I know i am guilty that i am bearing the hope this is a girl so he won't be happy, so i don't have to hear his comment any more and see the smile on his face. Even if this is a boy, i'm sure hoping that he won't adopt such thinking as his paternal grandpa in the future.

Please give me the energy to go on....

Boy just know how to pronounce and recognises "F" two days ago. He will go "AFP" by pursing his lips at the end. Super cute.

And he's learning his grandma by saying AIYA! whenever his grandma saw him pouring all his toys from the cart (by turning the cart upside down....so u see how strong this lil boy is). His own version of AIYA becomes "AILA" and "AHLA". Now he sees a mess of the toys on the floor he will go AHLA himself, when it is his own doing. Don't know want to laugh or cry.

On a side note, been feeling the cramps and spotting every now and then. Each day passed feeling the baby's heartbeat in my tum tum is just like a blessing to me. Days are so hard to get by now. I can recall the similar times when kyan was in my tum tum. Now that he is physically standing in front of me and i see him smile or laugh and his adorable movements/speech, it serves as a motivation for me to hold on, just for him to have a lil baby brother or sister to play with, and to imagine that i have yet another darling to hold on in another 9months time. Seriously, i fear that this day may not come, i fear the day i try and feel my baby's heartbeat only to find that there is none. I am so weak and fearful.

Now joo's accident makes me feel even worse, that pregnancy can ever be so vulnerable. Why is it that we can't be blessed with smooth and successful pregnancies? I hate to think of all these. I remember how frightful it was when i was carrying kyan. Each day, being a question of hope....each day, i just count and count till the day when my pregnancy will be diagnosed as stable. Each day....and yes now i'm facing it again with a heavy and fearful heart. Bless me.

I know i can always try again if i fail. But i really cannot afford to go through another round of MS all over again, now that i have started it. Each day, being a loss of appetite, a feeling of throwing up, cramps, vomitting, giddiness. For a moment i just feel like breaking down. Please give me the energy to go on....Please.

Duck Duck and Pa Pa?

Lil one is growing up each day...

Presently at 15months, little darling has achieved great milestones.

He is very adept in walking now...everywhere, to the extent of running. His vocabulary is expanding, as he knows things such as bus, ball, duck, sweetcorn, pear, apple, lorry, fire engine, tiger, alphabets like A, B, C...he also knows how to display the hand action, "no more"...like when we ask him, "where's daddy?" and daddy is not around, he will use his hand and signalled, "no more"..

He pronounces a few words. The most prominent one (and the one which he loves pronouncing) is "BUS". HAHA. He'll go "BA BA" and for duck, he will pronounce it as "DUCK DUCK" super accurately now! Everytime he sees the bus he will definitely go "BA BA!!!!" in an extremely loud manner, even when we are outside. When we ask him, "any bus kyan?" he goes to the window and looks out of it for the bus which may travel along the stretch of road. Sometimes everything he sees also is a bus to him. LOL. He will also pronounce ball as "BA". I guess his pronounciation is still not as right for this yet.

Now he always calls PAPA and looks for PAPA, no more MAMA le =( does he sense a #2 coming? I feel that he is quite distant from me now, as i cannot carry him, cannot take care of him and cannot play with him for long. Its really tiring.

I guess its a good and bad thing. Now that he's closer to papa, his bonding with papa is stronger too, i thank for that.

This lil guy, though clever, is starting to throw really bad tantrums. Everytime he wants something and we took it from him or disallow him to do it, he will cry and start beating and throwing tantrums. Sigh. I feel that it is really hard to teach little ones as they grow up.

GUG lesson

We brought Kyan to Growing Up Gifted (GUG) for a trial lesson last Sat, but unfortunately it didn't turn out well....

Kyan was the only baby who was on trial...so it seems that all the other babies knew one another except him. This boy hated to lose his freedom in crawling and went about his crawling business (in between ppl) when the teacher was teaching =.=''' He was screaming, flinging his arms and throwing a big tantrum when i refused to let him crawl, and was beating me too.... =____=''' I was in fact struggling with him throughout the whole lesson cos he wanted to move about but i had to tie him to our place. He was also making a fuss when i refused to give him the toys that the teacher had put away.

So all in all, i didn't enjoy the lesson, and so did kun. He did first half and i did the second half. In fact it wasn't even half i guess, we left halfway through the lesson to save us from more embarassment.

So the $50 was wasted. Sigh.

The teacher also didn't seem enthusiastic in wanting to teach either. According to kun, she actually threw the toys to the kids like a person spreading sand across the sea.

So we did not sign up for the scheduled lessons in the end.
Abit disappointed as i expect Kyan to take well to the lesson and totally liking it....oh well...

Something to cheer about though. Kyan has learned to walk many steps now! I was so excited when i witness the scene. Still remember he did his handsfree 3-walk during the housewarming but this time round it is actually a great improvement.

Nowadays, however he decided to take his head out on a temper. He likes to hit himself on the head?! Silly boy!! Wonder where he learn this from? He will keep hitting his head till we had to tie his hands up and said, "No, Kyan u cannot beat your head!" but he will still continue to beat.

He also loves to beat kun and me while he throws a tantrum when we are carrying him! *faintz*

Worried about this aspect of his character. I definitely have to come up with a method of telling him all these is incorrect. He cannot beat his own head nor can he beat his parents.

*double sweat*

This hot lil chilli padi...

This is Kyan's first successful attempt in pushing his toy wagon...alone =)

Toy Wagon was bought by his mama aka his maternal grandma.

I know that Kyan actually knows how to walk handsfree but has no confidence to do so....usually he will still wan to hold on to things for better support.

Anyway this naughty boy is really super naughty already. Not the normal kind of naughty. Its SUPER naughty and he became an easily flared up lil guy.
He actually fling his arms in a wild like manner and even beat beat his own mummy when he threw tantrums (when i was carrying him). There were a few times when my specs flew off my face cos he hit right at it! Can u realise how violent this lil guy can be???

I'm actually worried about this aspect of his character as he grows up. I am beginning to have a headache and wonder how i could discipline and teach him.

I am actually upset that he does not seem to want mummy/daddy. His world revolves around his grandma. I know that grandma deserves the credit and attention he showered upon her since she takes care of him so well, but mummy just can't help feeling sad about it.

Mummy can't pacify him. So long as he turns into the arms of his grandma, his cries stopped immediately....yes its IMMEDIATELY. Why can't the same happen when mummy is carrying him?

Mummy feels hurt....but what can she do? At least she's thankful that Kyan is not close to a maid afterall.

Housewarming Party at Humble Little House (Part 2)

Part 2 came a tad late i would say.

But its better late than never. Haaa....

Relatives came over in the evening. About 30 over pax. Received mostly ang baos and vouchers from them. My youngest aunt was so nice to give kyan a disney polo-T. Thanks to all of U!! My aunts/uncles and cousins never failed to cheer me up and support me even till today =)

En En came too! She's a big grown up gal now =) v adorable lil gal =D


Are U looking at me???


HAHA I'm so Happie....Happy....Happie...


Now U see me.....and later U don't...kuakua....


Photo taken with Mamee....


Deep in .....thoughts............


Enen Jie Jie....let me help U ok?

Surprisingly, Kyan was still quite ok that day. He was practically ok with everyone carrying him!

Here's a BIG thanks for all the housewarming pressies!! **Sorry if i left anyone out. I hope i did not!! *cross fingers*

To the 3 aunties who are like godma-s to kyan - Aunt Jo, Dea & Bin + their spouses eric/skye/shawn - thanks for the bike and oshkosh shoes for kyan. For the housewarming pressie...the photo frame was very much unexpected! So qiao its like we had telepathy, i also washed the same photos out that were taken by skye...keke...Cheers to our neverending friendship till the day we die =)
To Hilda and Ruth - I never meet u gals for like ages lor, soooo happy to see u both! And u both really did make an effort to come. I'm very touched really =) Felt so bad i didn't spend much quality time with u all. Hilda, thanks for the lovely hamper for us and kyan =) Gladys too, even though u couldn't make it last min, thanks for the presents! Catch up soon! Luann can't make it too =(
To my wonderful colleagues aka friends - Lovely handmade housewarming card, Robinson gift card + Capital Mall Vouchers. Millie bought two tupperwares for me! I wanted those! Thanks lady! Thanks Stacia and Liang Zheng for the blender! Its put in my mum's place now. Thanks Jeslyn for the WMF pot! WOW! Thanks to Kim for the plant! Hehe.
To my gaming frens, Ah Pork, Helen, Betty, Min Min, Sam, Lala - Thanks for the electric fan! V useful leh. We placed it on our living room bench cos that area no wind...so this comes in handy!!
To Jean and Sandy - Love u babes!!! Thanks for the set of expensive corningware!! Hey meet up more often leh
To my poly frens, Derix, Jocelyn, Stanley, Patricia, Steven - Thanks Joyce for the Loccitane room perfume! Thanks to Patricia for the electric photo frame!
To Derrick, Jimmy - U two guys i have not seen for ages too! So happy to see u both came. And Eena, u did make a trip down as promised! *Hugx*
To Vivi, Shirleen, Kate - Thanks for the Aussino vouchers!! Hey karaoke session next? Missed Maureen and Serene, both couldn't make it =(
To Karen, Jenner, Kee Peng, Ronnie - Thanks for dropping by! Karen's birthday celebration at her place on 29May!
Sharon, Siew Kim, Bee Ting, Siow Yen - Congrats to Siow Yen! And hope to meet up with u gals over dinner v soon!
Ivy, Stanley - So happy to still be keeping in touch with them, our honeymoon frens =) Thanks for the Robinson gift card.

Ok covered mostly abt everybody. I really hope i never miss anyone out!
I think most of them won't see this list la, cos i didn't tell many ppl abt this blog. But i still wanna post to keep these in memory =)

And how could i forgot the tons of ang baos, gift cards and vouchers i receive??? Thanks all!! I think i have at least 5 Robinson cards and gift vouchers now...LOL.

and FINALLY...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE MUMMIES OUT THERE IN THIS WORLD, ESPECIALLY TO MY OWN MUM!!
HAPPY 32nd BIRTHDAY TO THE SPECIAL MAN IN MY LIFE =)